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Sun, Feb. 13th, 2005, 07:36 pm
fight_4_life: Alright! Look at me an my bad self!

Ok! So, thanks to TigerLily's postage on the NML I was able to find this oh so lovable group, and I would like to give a humongous thanks to the help I received in actually stretching my tiny brain around the instructions to post and become an active member of the group, lol.

I really used to despise site like this, but I guess I always knew that they weren't that bad. I even wished that I would come across a bashing of my own story, because honestly, it would just be helpful. I think it's really just looking at people's stories and...bluntly, we'll say, pointing out the flaws that might deter someone from reading or enjoying it. And heck, who am I to resist being helpful to naive little Newsie Fanfiction writer?

No one, that's who. Oh, and also, I was kind of *cough* hoping that being a member might exempt me from having any of my own stories cracked open. As helpful as it would be, I'm sure(as stated above), I haven't written in quite a while because last time I read my stuff...it wasn't pretty. I mean, I read my first story and that's probably the most I have ever been moved by a piece of writing. Moved to become violently ill, at least. So yes, I don't like the stuff that I write no matter how much editing it goes through, so I'm kind of at a...research state, where I'm reading a lot and noticing a lot of styles of writing and just trying to improve my own style as much as possible. But yeah, I've insulted and criticized my own stuff as much as possible, so...ya know I won't be angry at all or anything if my stuff does come up (not to mentioned not surprise at all), but I'd appreciate it if you steer away from characters named Randy Peterson or Gale/Hannah, lol.

Right, I'm oober excited to start posting and actually get out the things that pop into my head when I read disturbing writing, and hopefully I will become a beloved member of this here thang...or at least not be thrown out on my hind quarters and have my face be shunned and my candle put out as I'm told the tribe has spoken. Cuz that's not fun, trust me.

I'm gunna go now, because I'm sure the few readers that are still left are getting insanely bored. But anyway, thanks for opening this site for me to join and...yes...right.

Have a holly jolly Sunday...God help those like me tomorrow as we ban together to destroy Valentines Day, being our bitter selves.


Sun, Feb. 13th, 2005, 09:56 am
falling_shadow: Whee!

Um, hi! ^_^

I'm a new member! (obviously) I was poking around ff.net and thought "Gee, there should be a community for bashing on all the Mary Sues in the Newsies fandom", came back to Lj to run a search, and FOUND ONE. Obviously.

Also, a question for the mods: in the interest of finding new members, is it alright if I post to the NML about this place? 'Cause more members equals a more active community and what not.

Nice to meet everyone!

...on that note, introductions are good. Hehe. I'm Lauren in real life, Tigerlily (Lily for short) in Newsie dom, and I do write fic which can be found at www.fanfiction.net/~starstrucklily. Flame away, though hopefully I don't have anything flameworthy up there. Heh.



Thu, Feb. 10th, 2005, 05:41 pm
chocolatepot: (no subject)

I have just gotten my act together and have found someplace to host pictures. Photodump lets you have as much space and bandwidth as possible. No limits. So, courtesy of Photodump, I bring you...

The Official Newsie Sue! (Feel free to make/post your own as well.)

I weep with joy.

Sat, Jan. 1st, 2005, 02:22 pm
chocolatepot: (no subject)

I'm going to try really hard to make sure that I don't post this in my regular journal.

Title: Is There a Reason to Live?
Suethor: anUNDERCOVERnewsie

Name: Bridget Lee Look at me, I'm Bridget Lee. Kill the canon I can see!
Oh, What Gorgeous Hair!: Not mentioned.
Eyes Like...: Not mentioned.
Sue-type: Yet another Suicidal Sue.
Of Course, She Owns...: Jack's decency and all that made him a good character.
I Didn't Know He Had a Sister/Cousin!: Spot's sister, and Kid Blink's friend.
She's From Where?: Brooklyn, I think.
Whose Girlfriend is She, Anyway?: Kid Blink's eventually.
Rating: Five Years in the Refuge: Makes Jack a near-rapist, makes everyone lust for the Sue, makes Jack a near-rapist, really bad accent, did I mention that she made Jack a near-rapist? Oh, and then Jack lies and says that it was *snort* Specs.
Notes: I need to add a traits line. She is called a whore and nearly raped by several people.
Look. I just don't think that newsies would use the term, "in bed." They would be much more likely to be like other teenage boys and use other, more colorful euphemisms.
Says Jack has a big butt.
She named Spot "Ben". Suspicion? Suspicion? Perhaps I am an influence of this work.
Oh, I am a well-spoken newsiegirlCollapse )

Best Line: "I tried to kick myself up to the top but I could feel the seaweed wrap around my leg."
Yes. She almost died.

Sun, Dec. 12th, 2004, 09:06 pm
chocolatepot: The Dark Side of Jack Kelly (dun dun dun)

Title: Like A Bandit Isn't it so lovely when they use proper capitalization?
Suethor: Brunette And when they don't use numbers or angsty gothness in their names.

Name: White Slave Girl, Kidnapped Child of Immigrants (as yet unnamed)
Oh, What Gorgeous Hair!: Not described, probably matted and tangled from her breaking in.
Eyes Like...: Sunken and cold, afraid in their depths yet brave, I assume.
Sue-type: Resistant Slave
Of Course, She Owns...: Nothing, probably not even her clothes.
I Didn't Know He Had a Sister/Cousin!: Nobody, I hope. If she's related to Spot, I'll barf.
She's From Where?: It's implied that she's kidnapped.
Whose Girlfriend is She, Anyway?: Jack's or Spot's. They do mention Sarah, though, and not in a scathing manner, so maybe not Jack.
Rating: Let's see: she's a kidnapped white slave, purchased by Jack Kelly until noon, and has been broken in but shows no fear. However, the writing isn't bad, and nobody has been described in great detail. So Two Years.
Notes:I'd actually like to see it updated, if it tones down the angst a bit.

Excerpt(s): Just the OneCollapse )

Best Line: "Not Kelly. He hated Jack Kelly." or "That damned smirk!"

Edited to add: Apparently it has been updated. It seems to be taking a downturn, though.
She is a prostitute, but wants to be an actress. Oh, dear...
There is this whole weird thing about names--she has several different ones in Chapter 3.
"Hey, 'letthe girl who never did anything wrongbe the first to chuck a rock at the hooker,'" Jack quoted with the utilization of artistic liasense. Okay, I don't think you can say that Sarah has done anything on the level of prostitution.
The A/N on Chapter Four bothers me a LOT.
Chapter Five: Sarah is a huge snob. Jack makes a big deal about her saying "that kind of people", referring to prostitutes. And Sarah SO does not sleep with Jack before they're married. Then Jack goes on about how newsies are the same as hookers, and then says that he's better than hookers.
So bad...so bad...

Fri, Dec. 3rd, 2004, 05:21 pm
chocolatepot: I sure can pick 'em, huh?

Title: Like the rose [sic]

Suethor: racetrackschick

Name: Rain (Rebecca), a "15 year old newsies"

Oh, What Gorgeous Hair!: "long brown hair that went to her waist"

Eyes Like...: "gleaming green eyes"

Sue-type: Hmmm...I'd have to say Soft Toughie.

Of Course, She Owns...: Spot's tongue.

She's From Where?: Doesn't say.

Whose Girlfriend is She, Anyway?: Spot's. But apparently she goes out "with those other guys I just wanted to kill them kill my self I think I love you to Rain I really think I do."

Rating: Four Years in the Refuge:
Cons: Criminal negligence of the comma; songfic; the only purpose of the story is that she loves Spot; the "newsie name" is stated in the first paragraph; THE ACCENT.
Pros: It still makes sense, and I can't say that Spot is TOO OOC.

Notes: I think that there's something about Newsies that appeals to fic writers of short attention spans.

Excerpt(s): How much can I put without doing the whole story?

The KissCollapse )

Sun, Nov. 28th, 2004, 07:51 am
chocolatepot: Oh PLEASE

I accidentally put this in my regular journal. Sheesh.

Title: Sweet Release
Suethor: Mage Ren

Name: Sarah Jacobs! Ha! Ha!
Oh, What Gorgeous Hair!: Not mentioned, thankfully.
Eyes Like...: Never described.
Sue-type: SuicidalSue ::rolleyes::
Of Course, She Owns...: the final epistles of her miserable life
I Didn't Know He Had a Sister/Cousin!: David and Les--at least she got that right.
She's From Where?: The movie! Ha! HA!
Whose Girlfriend is She, Anyway?: Well, she's actually JACK'S, but I'd say that the Suethor has a thing for Racetrack. Not that she's going out with Race here, but he seems a bit more than a friend.
Rating: Four Years--I like Race. :)
Notes: I hate songfics. And why is Sarah suicidal? Why is she living a "hollow existance"?

In Character, Right?Collapse )

Ha ha! Fooled you!Collapse )

Best Line: She was filled with a great sadness and a great joy, for the sweet release of death would soon be hers. Sarah's always struck me as a particularly angsty sort of girl, don't you think?

Fri, Nov. 26th, 2004, 09:54 pm
chocolatepot: (no subject)

I once wrote a story called Benny. I will allow anyone (SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME, PLEASE) to spork it; it is very spork-worthy. Let Benny be your introduction to the site. You know you want to.

Benny, by Rose Black.
Summary: I like this one. Its much longer than my other ones and YES I KNOW THAT ANNIE IS FROM MUCH LATER SO DONT BASE YOUR REVIEW ON IT unless you like how I used it. *** So informative, ja?

Only one reviewer actually gave me concrit--and I am so glad that I didn't blast them like I did Manon and Quiana (yes, I remember their names, I am so horribly ashamed) on A Few Last Thoughts, my first ever fanfiction.

Good God, I actually used the word "arrivance." They hang about talking about Mud's brother for ten hours. Did that sound plausible at the time? The way she knows he's her brother is because the play Spit. Spit.

That was the silliest piece of drama I have ever read or written. This is why everything I write now ends up silly/funny/witty/humorous.

Thu, Nov. 25th, 2004, 09:16 am
chocolatepot: This one is really annoying...

Title: If I was Invisible It's "WERE".
Suethor: koodles4you

Name: Katrina "Four-Eyes"
Physical Description: She wears glasses. That is the only way she is described.
Sue-type: Shy!Sue
Special Possessions: Glasses
She's From Where?: Some stupid high school.
Whose Girlfriend is She, Anyway?: David's...or maybe Spot's
Rating: Five Years in the Refuge
Notes: This is not a Newsies fanfic. It is in the Newsies section, and there is a group of boys called Jack, Race, Kid Blink, &c., but it is not a Newsies fic. It is set in a present day high school, and there isn't a paper in sight. Even though everyone seems to be tranferred to this school, Sarah has mysteriously disappeared, and this red head, Kathleen, has taken her place. And: AIM.
Best Line: Soon the subject was lost. My subject was lost.

Mary Sue IICollapse )

Mary Sue IIICollapse )

Wed, Nov. 24th, 2004, 06:24 pm
chocolatepot: Sigh...

Title: True
Suethor: degrassichick92

Name: Emily Marie Vanderbilt
Physical Description: "She had wavy golden blonde hair pulled back with a large barrette, fair skin, and ocean blue eyes. She was tall and slender and looked like she probably was wealthy, she was wearing a periwinkle blue frilly dress that drug oh, please to the ground like a wedding dress, it had a high collar and her black button up ankle boots were barely visible under her dress and she was wearing a gold heart shaped locket." But she was, sadly, not wealthy enough to afford a period.
Sue-type: Girly-Sue
Special Possessions: A locket. And a lot of twentieth centuray dialogue.
Canon Connection: Kid Blink's soulmate.
Origin: She is apparently a Vanderbilt
Whose Girlfriend is She, Anyway?: Kid Blink's
Plot: The poor little rich girl falls in love with a newsie--ooh, forbidden love! How original!
Rating: One -whatever the heck we decide on-. It isn't really that badly written, but I think she could do better with the character.
Notes: Could be better. In the first chapter, three people fall in love with newsies.
Shot in the EyeCollapse )

Jesus goes EvilCollapse )

Best Line: “This is why people like Emily and I don’t hang around with dirty street rats like you...you abduct us with your good looks and then gross us out, you poor pathetic loser.”

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